Cocktail Snob - quality matters!

Cincinnati is not a town that most people would expect to discover amazing cocktails in, and so it came as no surprise to me that I did not find any.

However, I did discover three places worth checking out, for various reasons, so I thought I would get you all hep to them.

My Cincinnati adventure began in the Mount Adams area. This is a lovely green area with Cincinnati's art museum and some other cultural institutions nestled in the hills. Close to the museum is a district with two dozen shops, bars, and restaurants. Among these, at the very top of the mountain, is an old stone monastery.
Climbing the stairs to the terraces around the monastery affords one the very best possible view of Cincinnati.
This monastery was once populated by monks who made wine, and thus the region has become a destination for wine fans.
A great whimsical fountain in the district's center contains a statue of a tipsy monk; water flows into the fountain from his wine jug.

Just a few yards from there is The Wine Cellar (1101 St. Gregory St.).
This comfortable bar has a small wine shop at the rear, with live acoustic music in the front (make sure you check out Porch Therapy, featuring vocals and fiddle from Jen Fry, Wine Cellar's bartender extrordinaire).

Cocktails aren't a focus here, but Jen or any of her fellow staff will recommend a nice wine from their manageable wine list.
Jen suggested a glass of Luis Martini Cabernet Sauvignon (Sonoma, CA) that was more or less what I was looking for ($8.50+tax).

After some friendly conversation, she sent me to my next destination, Jeff Ruby's Steak House (700 Walnut St.; (513) 784-1200).

On the way, I stopped one block from The Wine Cellar at Mt Adams Bar and Grill (938 Hatch St.). I like the look of this place, with lots of interesting things behind the bar, century-old tile on the floors, and lots of antique wood everywhere. Dave the bartender was friendly enough, but I got no sense that this was a place that would pour me a decent drink. So I had a mediocre fish sandwich for $10 and moved on from Mount Adams to downtown Cincinnati.

Downtown Cincinnati, at night, is an interesting mix of modern nightlife and newer businesses mixed right in with a fair amount of poverty and homeless people. There are no boundaries, the "good" and "bad" bits of town seem to be one and the same. I spied a store with a deco facade that was still selling player piano rolls (and nothing else), and was impressed that they're still in business. This may very well be the only business of its kind left in the world.

I also met three friendly cops(!) on horses, one of whom was gorgeous (the cop, not the horse). She didn't give me a ride (on the horse), but I did feed it (the horse) a carrot (a vegetable).

Arriving at Jeff Ruby's (uh, not Jack Ruby's, keep that straight), I was impressed with the sensory overload experienced immediately upon entering. Reproduction art deco era furniture and convincing 1940s-style interior design is blended with warm, low lighting accented by tasteful splashes of red light for color. Reproductions of vintage European liqueur ads (we've all seen those before) work here better than in most places and are mixed with Tamra de Lempicka prints and framed 8x10 glossies of dead celebrities. A mural on the back wall recalls de Lempika's style. Waiters in bow ties move swiftly between decoish statuary in the large but still intimate-feeling dining room, as a jazz-blues hybrid combo perform in the corner of the bar area. I like the look of this place. It is a believable reproduction of a semi-elegant mid-century restaurant (their ads say "since 1948", but that is the owner's birth year, Ruby's opened around year 2000).

Jen at the Wine Cellar had recommended that I ask for Laurie at Jeff Ruby's, but she wasn't there. I struck up a conversation with the friendly and enthusiastic woman who was behind the bar. She was super nice and was the sort who could effortlessly handle a bar full of customers lined up five deep, but I have to confess that the Sidecar that she served me was vile.
Borderline undrinkable.
No, not borderline.
It sucked.

C'est la vie...
Next time I'll stick with wine in Cincinnati; Ruby's has a wine list even longer than the Wine Cellar's, which tops out with Jeroboam Caymus Special Select (a Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon) for $1000. They also have a cigar menu, which I can personally do without, and a martini menu (mostly sweetened vodka thingies, which should have been a warning to me right there).

As I choked down my 'car, a sort of seedy-looking guy was drinking next to me (recall: "good" and "bad" parts of town blended together here, shaken, stirred, take your pick). He was probably not having the Jeroboam; he paid for is drink in small change. And yet, most of the people having dinner were in suits or dresses. Cincinnati. I asked him what he was drinking, and he said that it was a martini. I asked him if it was gin or vodka. He looked confused for a moment and then stammered: "Uh, gin and vodka. Mixed. Together.", and then after some further hesitation he added "...but not too strong... kind of weak".

Anyway, I did really like this place, just stick with the wine, as I said.

Time to hit the road: I was staying at the Wigwam Motel in Cave City, Kentucky that night, and I had a two-hour drive ahead of me.
But let's face it: I was in a city I hadn't ever spent much time in, and the urge to explore was to hard to resist.
I am glad I gave in, because I soon discovered the Hilton Cincinnati Netherland Plaza hotel. This classic 1931 art deco hotel was rescued from the wrecking ball by the narrowest of margins in the 1980s, and then fully restored. In the lobby, they'll give you a little eight-page illustrated pamphlet detailing the hotel's history.

Art deco details in the lobby, the elevators, and the shopping arcade are very impressive, but it is the vintage 1931 Palm Court that really knocked my socks off. The cavernous lounge space is a deco masterpiece. I'll let the picture on this page do its job, but suffice to say, the 10-foot tall sconces (rescued from the basement), the detailed murals on the ceiling (covered for decades with a drop ceiling), and the sculptural elements at the end of the room are true treasures. Alas, the enticingly named "Julep Room" on the balcony was closed...

The bar in the center of the Palm Court was manned by Morgan when I visited. He has some enthusiasm for his craft, and spying the fresh citrus and the juice press behind the bar, I thought that I might be able to get a drink that lived up to the environment. Once again, I tried my go-to tester drink, a Sidecar. Morgan seemed happy to be able to pull out a rarely-ordered classic (rarely ordered here, at least) and served it up quickly ($8.00+tax).
It was not a bad rendition of the Sidecar, certainly better than my previous one, but not one to truly rave about. A solid "B", perhaps -- but to be honest, that's better than most bars can provide.
Even if the drink were a notch less acceptable, I was happy to pay the $8 "admission fee" for sitting in this environment, nibbling bar snacks from a little silver dish and taking it all in.

So, to recap my Cincinnati adventure, Wine Cellar is a good choice for a nice glass of vino in the arty and pretty Mount Adams area, Jeff Ruby's is good for a high-end meal in a convincing faux-deco environment within the downtown area, and The Hilton's Palm Court is good for a just-shy-of-impressive cocktail in an extremely impressive and fully authentic art deco environment.
Check out the Cincinnati art museum too!

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Last updated on June 9, 2009

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